U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
