Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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