I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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