Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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