for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
