he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
