Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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