so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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