Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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