She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
