Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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