I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize