Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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