The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
