I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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