I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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