So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
