the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nutella sex= disaster
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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