If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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