Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
