So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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