I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
