I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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