Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
