Welp...herpes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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