scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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