3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
