I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
