is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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