I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
