i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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