I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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