where am i from again
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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