Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
