I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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