I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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