Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
