why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
