I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im part way to drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
