Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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