Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Enjoy the penises