i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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