There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
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Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!