We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize