there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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