dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
