oh god the rape fog is back!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
