Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
