like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
