You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
