Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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