Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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