whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she looked like the before picture.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
