I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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