There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
