After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
