HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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