If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Vodka?
Forever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
