if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
