I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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