I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
