Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
