i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this will be a night to untag.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize