everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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