The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
ok first of all what the fuck
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
