I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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