I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize