I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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