it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
