I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
